We are all familiar with sepanx. Separation anxiety is our best friend together with our other close friend, homesickness. No matter how many times we tried to shake them off, they stick to us like glue. Through the years it seems their grip also grows stronger.
You might think homesickness and separation anxiety is the same. They are different, though not by much.
You feel homesick when you are not at home. Sepanx is when you are at home and you are dreading your nearing departure date. You are still with your family, but you are already practicing yourself, distancing yourself from them so when your annual holiday is up you thought it would be easier to leave them again behind. But you thought wrong. When you are back to where you are working as an OFW, you would soon regret the times you worry too much about leaving again that you forgot to enjoy your borrowed time.
If and when you are overwhelmed with separation anxiety, you are having doubts about going home for holiday to yes, be with them but again feel the gut-wrenching misery of reacquainting yourself with being apart from your family, follow the below tips and tricks on how to handle sepanx like a boss.
Embrace the anxiety
You might think, “huh? I thought we are going to teach sepanx how we are boss why the heck would I embrace it?” This is sometimes what’s wrong with us OFWs or with people in general, we thought if we ignore something, it would eventually go away. With separation anxiety, the more we try to bury this sucky feeling, the more it would eventually bubble up in the surface. Don’t let this consume you. It’s okay to breakdown sometimes. Let it all out.
Don’t keep everything bottled. Don’t also assume your family would not understand. They already know you are struggling overseas for them. Trust me, they are waiting for the chance to make it up to you, to be your pillar of support like how you are with them. Besides, feeling like you don’t want to leave again means you have something good.
Keep a journal
Keeping a journal has a negative connotation. The idea of writing down your feelings should only be reserved for teenage girls with frilly and pink diaries. Wrong! (not to mention very sexist) Writing down your thoughts is actually recommended for your mental health. Studies show that when you keep track of your emotions, you could better manage them the next time you are overpowered.
It will also teach you what your triggers are and how to avoid them. And for us OFWs who have a lot of feels, keeping a journal is necessary. I should know, I’ve been keeping one since I am a teenager (and yes, I did have one before in pink).
Take photos and record videos
There is a risk though of being homesick but seeing photos and watching videos of your family’s smiling faces would help you ease your anxiety. It would remind you that you are doing this for them, that you are living away from them just so you could bring those smiles to their faces. If possible, print out some snaps. Having a physical reminder of these memories would transport you to happier times and would (hopefully) improve your mood.
Ask your love ones to write you a letter
And not an email or a letter typed and printed out. Ask them for a good, old fashioned handwritten letter. A handwritten letter feels more personal and you know that they have tried to write legibly and thought about the words they want to tell you. It’s not like they could just press delete or backspace. Once they have written something, it’s permanent.
Unless you don’t mind receiving a letter with splotches of white from a correction pen. Open the letter when you are feeling sad and realize that the separation is only temporary and that one day, you will be reunited with your family once more.
Know when to ask for help
Separation anxiety is a serious issue. This could affect us in more than one way. If it is already disturbing your daily life and you could not perform your responsibilities well, it is better to seek the help of a professional. Don’t think that seeking help from someone means that there is something wrong with you. It just means you are valuing not just your physical health, but most importantly your mental health.
As OFWs, we are prone to having bouts of depression and anxiety. This is normal. But make sure to not let these feelings destroy you. You are not alone in your battle. You just have to keep the faith and know that sooner or later, all your sacrifices and effort will be rewarded.
An Overseas Filipino Worker since 2008, Yvette is back in the Middle East after a brief stint in a first world country in South East Asia. She is a binge watcher and is part of numerous fandoms. She writes to keep her sanity (read her rantings on Wattpad @yvette_dc) and is happiest when she's in a bookstore. If given the resources, she would see the world.